2004-11-15

'Wise' Answers to Deep Questions

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Probably a woman who was tired of breastfeeding - said: "I'm worn out, you want more you can share with the calf over there"

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
Some starving person, watching all the animals eating eggs, figuring that it must be safe to eat if they eat it

3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Could be any number of reasons: not used as much, so why run extra wires and save some money; Don't want to add the heat of a bulb to the freezer; Worry about the bulb shattering from the temperature change

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
I always heard the version where Jimmy cracks corn and *I* don't care. You can care if you want, I don't

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Do you want to be the cop to give a hearse driver a ticket?

6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Because of you point to the crotch, you might be asking for something else ;-)

7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Because humans are often embarrassed/excited by the act of undressing. Once you are laying down, you can try to get your mind into a 'different place'

8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
GoofyHas been called a non-dog or half dog. It does seem odd that one dog is a 'person' and the other dog is a pet. But as you know 'Some animals are more equal than others'

9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Maybe the local diner doesn't accept plastic, but Acme is willing to extend a lot of credit to Mr. Coyote

10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
A pain in the butt. Or is that two test tickles?

11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Mineral oils. Yuck. I'm not putting that on my skin.

12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
And if con is the opposite of pro, what is the opposite of progress?

13. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
And 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' - they are sister tunes - subtly different, and effectively the same for the most part. I used to sing all three in round to get my boys to calm down or sleep.

14. Stop singing and read on..........
Twinkle, Twinkle little lamb, next time won't you sing with me?

15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Most people don't try to spell with their Alphabet food. So unless the illiterate people don't even recognize letters, I suppose they are not losing out on much.
Think what would happen if you ate a bowl of Chinese alphabet soup! And think about it, you don't get the full effect of alphabet soup that a savant would.


16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Maybe he is trying to tell you that you need a mint. Of course that is calling the kettle black.

17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Not usually. Most elevator controllers will ignore extra presses. But I've seen elevators that will shut the doors as if you pressed the close door button, if you press a lit floor button again.

18. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
Only the days I don't get email from you. Okay - I did wonder why I gave you my address when you used to send me chain mail.

Questions read before. This posting inspired by Lady Phae - Made ya think...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yes, that is definitely interesting. Gives me something to think about for a while. Now if only I could get the words straight to all the songs...

Anna Banana